My name is Bellatrix Black Lestrange
by Christina-Potter-09
Summary: and this is My story... How the Rose of a family can turn into a monster... A POV for His most Loyal Death Eater.


_**Hello everyone, many of you know me as a Harmonian author bu**__**t this is something i wanted to make for a long time. I hope you like it, please leave a review :)**_

**_It's not beta-ed so I'm sorry for possible mistakes. If the words are somehow likethat then sorry again but FF . net's editor makes the error :/_**

**_Enjoy..._**_**

* * *

**_

My name is Bellatrix Black Lestrange 

_and__ this is my story…_

A beautiful, young, pureblood woman I was. A true rose of my family.

I became the shadow of all those things. I became a murderer, a torturer, a monster for him, my love…

I was the eldest sister, the beloved of our father, the hope for the next generations. Narcissa was the littlest and my mother was trying to make her strong like me, she may didn't make it, but Narcissa was a part of our family. Andromeda just proved that bad things can happen to fair and noble families like ours. She ran away to marry that muggle, that filthy piece of nothing, she gave birth to a child, a filthy half-blood. A bastard of our kind.

And I had to be the perfect one. The strongest, the one to produce sons and daughters with the same pure blood like my own. Rodolphus would be the one to help me, to fulfill my destiny as a woman of my kind. I thought it would be easy…

I didn't really love Rodolphus, he was a pureblood, handsome, rich man, but not the one I knew I deserved to have, he just wasn't enough. But I didn't have choices. I had to make a family.

So I became Bellatrix Lestrange.

And I started my family by trying to conceive, and I made it. I was happy to be a future mother, my husband wasn't my love but I would have a child, a change to love someone like I knew I could.

But fate betrayed me, like my sister, my cousin and my life itself did...

It was night and everything was dark and silent, the Lestrange manor, my home, was always like that, silent and cold. I was in my bedroom because of nausea and tried to sleep, I finally fell asleep but pain made me wake up after awhile. There was blood, allot of my blood, on the sheets, on my clothes, on my hands and my legs. Rodolphus was downstairs with his brother and I screamed for help, the pain was too strong to allow me to scream more.

The last thing I remember was seeing Rodolphus' shocked face looking at me and my bleeding body.

Voices were surrounding me, I was in a warm bed, with warm clothes and a small feel of pain in my body. I could hear people whispering and murmuring, someone was crying.

I opened my eyes and looked around. My husband was the first I saw. His face was sad, disappointed. I tried to talk and he noticed I was awake. He moved close to me and kissed my lips.

"It's ok," he whispered. "I'll always be there, no matter what, Bella" He said and I didn't know what he meant.

I had lost my child, because of some sickness I had and didn't know about, some sickness passing through our generations. The worst part was that I was now sterile; this sickness didn't only take my child but also destroyed my possibilities to have another. I was crushed, useless, sterile, and empty, nothing would ever be the same again. My change to have a child, with my eyes, my hair, and my blood was now just a smashed dream, a bloody open wound in my soul.

And I was right, nothing was the same.

My family took their distances; Rodolphus' family did the same. And the only ones with me were Narcissa, Rodolphus and Rabastan. I thought Meda was the worst thing in our family. But no, I was now the sterile, the useless; and the fact that Rodolphus stood by my side made me hate my self even more, for not giving him sons, for not loving him back like he did, now _I_ wasn't enough and that killed me.

I was just a crushed outcast of my family for a long time. When I tried to see my parents my father explained to me I wasn't banned from my family but I wasn't as loved as I was before. Was that possible? Can someone being _less loved _because fate tricked her? Either way, those words killed me inside. It wasn't my family, Rodolphus or love, no, it was me. It was the knowledge of Andromeda, that traitor having a child, it was the knowledge of Narcissa being pregnant and having a son, and it was the knowledge of me, never having a child. It was the feeling of belonging nowhere…

Until He found me, until He showed me the way to my atonement. My Lord found us a few months after Narcissa's marriage. He explained to us how things would be if we had the upper hand in our community, believes my parents supported, believes my cousin, Regulus accepted as well. Believes I agreed with, and along with Rodolphus, Rabastan, Narcissa and Lucious became followers of His. And I really felt like belonging somewhere. He showed me the way to joy, to victory. We would finally have the community as it should be, purebloods would finally be the one kind in the Wizarding world. Draco and his generation would live in a pure world without the fear of the Mudbloods and the Muggles. I may wasn't able to have kids but I could help others' children exist in a better world, my Lord was right, we could make it.

Of course that needed sacrifices; my first murder was one of a Mudblood, a filthy Mudblood who tried to stop us by killing her family and her newborn, Half-blood child. It may felt strange at first, but then, knowing you have the power to take lives was something which made me feel alive. Pain, death and distraction of the threats of my kind was now my pleasure.

Through those glorious years of our lives under His commands things were better for me. Narcissa became stronger, something my mother never accomplished, she conceived and gave birth to a child after a difficult pregnancy and a hard labor of many hours. My husband and I came closer with our Lord's commands as our lives' reasons and I was finally able to smile when I was returning from a mission and He was satisfied with me and my noble actions.

My family accepted me and I knew, being under my Lord's commands was the best choice I had ever done in my life.

And then, when we all waited for Him in my sister's manor, to celebrate a Halloween night as we used to do with Him every year, our scars hurt, they hurt like someone was ripping our hearts out of our bodies and I knew something was terribly wrong. The news travelled around our world in heartbeats.

He was defeated…

He was gone…

We were without our Leader…

I was without a reason…

Again…

I refused to accept it, I refused to believe he was gone, Him, the most powerful wizard of our world couldn't be dead.

Rodolphus, Rabastan, Crouch and I tried to find him, Narcissa and Lucious tried to hide with Draco, fools and weak people, they didn't try to find our Lord, I was the one to do that too. It was my duty.

We captured the Longbottoms. Even if they didn't give us the information we needed I took all my rage and fury on them. I showed them how is to be a Death Eater even in a time like that. At the end of my tries, they were useless.

But fate didn't help. Again.

We were captured by some bloody Aurors. We tried to stop them, we killed a few but they were more and we were exhausted.

I never gave up on my Lord. We decided through glances and murmurs to have a plan and Crouch tried to convince everyone for his innocence, he would be free to find our Lord and we would be the next to escape and help.

His bloody father didn't buy it and sent him with us in Azkaban.

Ugly place that prison.

It makes you feel empty, sad, and desperate.

You loose your self in there. You need to have a reason of existence if you want to survive.

And I had one, Him, His return.

I saw my cousin in that prison, the idiot. He thought his friendship with Pettigrew would be true… Fool, little piece of a man. He thought Pettigrew wasn't able to betray them. At least the Mudblood and the Halfblood were dead, and when I would be free again I would be able to kill the little bastard with the green eyes.

And then, silence, darkness and cold surrounded me, for years, happy and joyful memories were gone from my tired mind, and only the image of my Lord kept me alive close to the Dementors.

I hated everyone, everything, my sister for not being as loyal as she should, Malfoy for his turn as the victim when I was in that wet cage with the Dementors wanting my soul as a meal. I was furious with the fools who played with the Dark Mark in the Quiditch cup like it's something to play with, I was furious with everyone. I hated everyone, my only reason was to break free and find Him.

And then, we made it. After years in agonizing fear, we were free. First Crouch and then my followers and I.

He was reborn and powerful when I was free, and those years in that prison awarded me with his trust. I was happy to be back, to his commands, he knew how loyal I was to him, he trusted me. He knew I wasn't scared of him, like Lucious and Narcissa were, like the rest were, no, I wasn't scared, he was part of me, how could I be scared?

Potter may was alive but so my Lord was, and now nothing could stop us.

We tried to take the prophesy but Lucious and I didn't make it, I was furious with my self, I had the perfect change to help my lord and screwed it, at least I killed Black. That was a personal victory, now only Andromeda, her muggle and her bastard were on the list.

After that night, after my Lord gave me what I deserved to feel, pain, I had a new problem, My Lord's revenge on Lucious. He tortured me but things were different with Malfoy, I didn't have children for my lord to use to punish and only for that time I was happy not to be a mother. Those feelings made me help Narcissa, the same sickness beat her and miscarriage her second child, after the fiasco in the ministry; history repeated itself and now Narcissa had to save her only son. I felt awful for acting behind my Lord's back but I helped her when she needed to find Snape, I was the one to help them with the Vow.

I never trusted that filthy half-blood, he was always so mysterious, I was sure he was a spy but my Lord believed in him and I tried to respect that even if His reasons were unknown to me.

The fight in Hogwarts was good, Dumbledore was finally out of the game and we had the power to make it.

We started by causing fear, showing to everyone the Dark Lord was back, ready to have his revenge and second Rise. The muggles and the wizards were in state of panic and we had the old respect we should have. The wandmaker was under captivity, so the Lovegood girl was. We had specific orders about what we had to do. My Lord was anxious yet exited, we could win.

When Greyback brought Potter, Weasley and the Mudblood in the manor I knew I could be the best Death Eater. Draco was sure of them being the bastards we needed and I would save Potter until my Lord was there to kill him, in the mean while I would have fun with the Mudblood and the Blood traitor.

I entertained my self by torturing her. I needed to know their plans and that fucking Mudblood didn't say a thing about them. I was furious with her and I wanted to give her to Greyback for a bite, but not before I had what I needed.

The fight in the house was a matter of seconds. I lost the three brats through my hands and all I manage was to kill a fucking house elf. We also lost the wandmaker and Lovegood, a complete fiasco once again. I knew pain would be the only thing I'd feel from the moment my Lord would be back and aware of what happened.

But even after that failure, my Lord forgave us and I would make up for my mistakes.

When I saw my Lord falling after he cast the Avada on Potter I thought I'd die. But he was fine, and Potter was finally dead, things were as they should be. My joy was great when my Lord destroyed the Hat and Slytherin house was finally the only one in Hogwarts. But then Potter was out of sight and a huge fight started, now I could make up for my family and my Lord.

I did, when I killed my niece, that ugly, stupid girl, that brat who was with the werewolf, like her mother hadn't cast pain and disgust in the family, she added more by having another bastard with the animal… Thankfully Dolohov killed it for me.

I fought with the Mudblood, the Lovegood girl and the redhead blood traitor, my intentions were to kill them all.

I was that close to kill the blood traitor, if the fight of my Lord with McGonagall hadn't takes my attention for a moment I would have succeed and the redhead piece of nothing would be dead.

Her mother screamed at me and joined the fight. I ran laughing at her, reminding her the death of one of her stupid kids. The fight of my Lord and McGonagall stole my attention once more and that cost my life.

The fat Weasley cast the curse I had cast numerous times to kill Mudbloods and traitors. I died by a traitor with no life, I died for my believes.

They're going to be more Dark Lords, none will be like _my_ Lord but they'll try to move on his path and if immortality exists, then I'll be a heroine who gave her life for one reason.

Superiority

That was my story.

That was my end.

That was my legend.

* * *

reviews are love 


End file.
